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Not Before...Just the Present

You know, despite having lost 150lbs previously (kept most of it off for 10+ years, but my last baby and Covid combined to my having about 70lbs more than I want to have back on), and having our before pics shown every where on national media, international magazine covers and media, all over the internet etc...this feels different. It feels different because I have NEVER EVER shared a before picture until I had an AFTER picture. Or a before weight. And once you have the AFTER picture, the before picture doesn't seem so bad, right? Because it's not current. It's not present, it's not reality. It's a BEFORE. Not a NOW. Not an AFTER. But I'm at a different place now, where I want my whole journey this time to just be present and authentic even in the uncomfortable places. So here's my CURRENT pic. And my CURRENT weight. Nothing else, just that. Just me, in this moment, being present and loving myself in this body, even if it's not the healthiest, best version of myself. And there's a freedom and healing in that, honestly. My body gained weight weirdly because of my skin removal surgery and abdominal sewing. No more FUPA every again, WOOHOO but it also makes it really tight and uncomfortable in my belly. Kinda like a balloon expanding in there, I dunno. But here I am, as I am. 262.7. I feel best and healthiest in my body at 190lbs so that's my goal-never will be skinny cuz I'm a thicc girl haha but 190 feels healthy and great for me. And honestly in these pics, the thing I'm most embarrassed about is actually my 2000 souvenir tramp stamp tattoo HAHAHAHA.
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